we live in a world where the pizza arrives faster than the police
Well the pizza driver faces consequences when their job isn’t done right.
MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURNED UP AT THE WINDOW LIKE HE HAD A FRICKING RESERVATION
GOD DAMMIT AUSTRALIA
"Monica how could you? and on our anniversary?"
white boy: I havent said nigger for 3 days
girl: omg <3 You’re literally an amazing person xxxxx
ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have
When a game has “And you.” in the special thanks section of the credits.
my school was full off hot ass people tbh
i was homeschooled
if I get a bad english grade im sending this to my teacher
Where’s my money?
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
Pausing in the middle of a fic because you can literally feel the waves of second hand embarrassment when your OTP does something stupid
punks not dead
Heosemys spinosa is an endangered species.
punks almost dead
That is not a Heosemys Spinosa,its a Graptemys nigrinoda.
they are in the low risk list, therefore, not endangered.
Punks not as almost dead as we thought.